9 months left!

What a long training!!! I am finally back in Lamut after two weeks of traveling and attending seminars. It started with my friend Dan’s wedding. He married Berlin, a Filipina that he met at site. About 10 of us PCVs attended. I went with Jill and later met Dusting and his girlfriend Cheng along the way. A “funny” thing happened on our way there. It had been raining all week and everyone warned us about mudslides. Sure enough, about 20 minutes from the venue, we were stopped by a mudslide. There were many guests on the bus so at least we weren’t alone. We waited on the bus for about an hour trying to figure out what to do. Finally, some one decided for our group that we would walk over it. To give you a picture….it was raining, almost dark, Jill and I were equipped with broken umbrellas, flip flops and enough baggage for a two week trip. It was an adventure but we made it to the other side unharmed. Yet that was just the first part. We had no ride waiting for us on the other side. To make matters worse, there was no cell phone signal so we couldn’t text or call our friends to come and get us. While we were waiting on the other side, Dustin and Cheng walked by and we waved them over. They too had the same problem and were just 30 minutes or so behind us. After about another hour, a van offered to take us to the hotel. Finally!! We arrived 3 hours late, wet, tired, hungry, but so excited to see our friends. Dan’s parents flew here for the wedding – 2 sets and his brother and girlfriend. I hit it off really well with his mother – I think we all did – she was a real sweetheart – a SPED teacher by profession. She made me homesick for my family J We didn’t see much of Dan the whole time – he was stressed and busy. But we spent time together as a group. The ceremony was beautiful and his parents’ speeches were tear jerking. The look on Dan’s face when Berlin walked down the isle was priceless. Very powerful to witness that kind of love and commitment. I almost envy them.
My friend Dustin also announced that he and Cheng will be getting married next February. She is amazing and we hit if off right away. She asked me to be in the wedding! I am happy because she only lives 40 minutes from Lamut and I can see her a lot. I am so happy that two of my friends have found their loves here in the Philippines. I think to a year ago and how different they were. Now they seem so grown up and mature.
After the wedding all of us went to Baguio and stayed overnight at a fellow PCV’s house. Most of us were exhausted so we stayed in. Sunday, we got a bus to Manila. It was a huge reunion. Every one of us were there and staying at the pension. Some of these people I hadn’t seen in over a year. We spent the next few days going to medical appointments and dental checkups and in our free time having a blast! It was so great to see everyone again. We are much more relaxed and calm. We don’t need to spend hours of mindless chit chat about our projects or host families. We know each other and are comfortable with one another. I am so thankful I don’t have to answer the question “So what sector are you in?” or “What project are you doing at site?” just to fill awkward silences.
Manila was really great. I talked with so many people and strengthened my friendships with other volunteers. It feels good knowing that I have a support system out there even if we live far away from each other. Living here in Ifugao can be isolating and as most of you know the past two months have been no exception.
We all took the chance to go out dancing, have a few too many beers, sing some videoke, and do some harmless flirting. I stuffed myself with pizza and burritos and a few too many ice cream cones. I also had my filling filled – I no longer have a gaping hole in the back of my mouth and I can go back to eating sweets without worrying about my mouth rotting away.
At my medical appointment I found out that my iron levels are now normal and I am parasite and amoeba free. One year down, one more to go! My blood pressure is still low which they say is probably due to lack of sleep and stress. I think I have valid reasons for that and I am working on it don’t worry. I’ve lost a great deal of weight since I’ve been here. I owe that to the lack of beer, pizza, burritos, and ice cream. (Fish and rice just doesn’t do it for me after a year) As long as I don’t continue to lose weight, I think I’ll be fine. Anyways, I always wanted a way to lose that freshman 15 (honestly, more like 20).
Wednesday, we all headed to Rizal, just outside of Manila, for our long awaited mid service training. It was scheduled previously for the beginning of June. Because the new batch came in at that time, they rescheduled. The problem was that many people were holding out for it. They had made their schedules around it and those of us lonely at site were eager to have a reunion. In the end I think it worked out for the best. I know a lot of people hit a low these past couple of months and now they have made it through, with only 9 months left of service. It may sound silly but have less than a year is huge. No one would consider leaving now that we are 2/3 finished. Back when we still had a year left it was tempting for many of us to think about throwing in the towel. I think that many of us were grateful for the change in the end.
The resort we stayed at was amazing! Our rooms were crowded and the food was just ok lang but the facility was great. It included 2 pools – with slides, a wave pool, duckpin bowling, billiards, ping pong, darts, and videoke. We utilized everything as much as we could.
We also played a lot of cards and games. I finally learned how to play Uker (sp?). It’s about time I learned - my fellow Midwesterners gave me a hard time being from Iowa and not knowing - I can’t help it that my friends were Uker snobs and never wanted to teach me! We played some charades of death (too lazy to describe it now but lots of fun). We had sessions with PC staff and other PCVs from 8-5 – so draining. By the end of the day we were more than eager to relax. I spent most of my time in the pool or bowling. We held a couple of water polo games and were all completely scratched and bruised by the end of the week – those games are brutal and some of the guys in our batch are huge! Basically it was 5 ½ feet tall girls thrown in with 6 feet plus guys – anything goes!
MST wasn’t all about hanging out - the sessions helped some – mostly the sessions exchanging ideas with other volunteers. I talked with some other volunteers who had successful library projects. One suggested I write to authors and ask for book donations from them. Any ideas? I also learned some new teaching strategies that I can utilize in my English class. I am also thinking about taking on the other sections in grade six. I am considering co-teaching and also doing a pen pal exchange with my old elementary school. Let me know if you know any teachers that may be interested in a letter writing project.
The overall highlight of these two weeks was the time spent getting to know other volunteers. It’s very rare that we get time together with people who live so far away. I had a lot of fun in the big groups playing games and such but really the best were the opportunities to talk one on one. These chances continue to be the highlight of my experience here. I have met so many amazing people with different personalities and from all different backgrounds. I still find I bond most with people from the Midwest. It’s strange how we seem to migrate towards each other. I still have many close friends from Texas, Utah, Alabama, DC, even Washington and California. But there’s something about those Midwesterners that make me feel right at home. While strengthening old friendships I also got to really talk to some people for the first time. I continue to be impressed by these people.
Most of the training was laid back, and if not, we made up for it at night. The hard part came during part 3 – PDM training with my principal. She arrived at the resort on Sunday night. We get a long very well and she is very funny and easy to talk to and I am glad we had this chance to get to know each other better. It also gave her the chance to meet PC staff and other volunteers. Her and her roommates fell in love with the PC guys – flirting with them, sending secret texts – it was so cute! The goal of this training was to learn to design a project – us focusing on the library. We spent 3 ½ days putting this together and presented it at the end to our group. It was an intense few days. Americans and very schedule focused and these days were long. I can also be extremely stubborn. There were many times we were both frustrated with each other. It was hard coming from two very different cultures and having different personalities. What made it work was our dedication to this project. We know that we are both committed to this and are both working hard to see it that it is a success. After days of hard work and pushing each other’s buttons, we made it! I typed it up Thursday at the Peace Corps office and presented it to the PTCA after arriving in Lamut on Friday. They seemed excited about it. I tried to convince them the importance of their involvement and I hope we get the support we need. We have a lot of fundraising activities scheduled and I will not do them alone with only the help of the principal. We have made a time line for September and are going to start activities on Monday. This project is going to be a challenge and take a lot of hard work but it can be done. My principal is confident that we will complete it all by the end of the school year in March. I won’t allow it not to be completed - I have no intentions of extending my service and I definitely don’t want to be forced to.
Enough of the small details – as for me…I am back here in Lamut. I am happy to be back with my family and friends at school. Every time I leave and come back I feel even closer to them. I have had to spend a few days reorganizing my life and remembering where I was before I left. I have washed all the clothes I own and slept about 25 hours in the past 2 days. Two weeks of partying with 60 other volunteers is hard to come back from. I am going to be busy this next couple of months…and most likely the rest of my service. It is a bit overwhelming – I sometimes feel that I have over extended myself - but I have written it all down in a time line which helps keep my mind clear. I have to balance the library project, English classes, SPED, youth camp with Jill, HIV/AIDS awareness (which I have yet to start), and my Ilocano tutoring. I have been slacking on studying for the GRE’s but I am planning to get back on track with that and still plan to take it some time after Christmas.
I know I told you all that I was almost positive that I wanted to do the nursing program at Johns Hopkins. At MST everyone was talking about their future plans. Naturally, as we have nothing else to do at site but sit around and plan our futures – and change those plans on a weekly basis. Anyways, I spoke with a friend who is interested in Special Education. She wanted some advice. I found myself getting excited and passionate about it again. I surprised myself - I thought I was done with it. I am so jaded here with our program that I’ve wanted to get far away from special education. Now, I’m not so sure. I really care about my kids. I love working with them but if I do chose that path I am still not sure that I would want to be in a classroom setting like that forever. I was also talking with a friend who is planning to work here for a few years after service – not forever, just for awhile. His outlook on life is that lifestyle is more important than say what job he is doing. He wants a job that can give him enough money and free time to pursue his interests and to live comfortably. I can understand this. I have focused a lot on finding a job that fulfills me and in the end I think I could do a lot of different jobs well and achieving happiness at work is hard. I think it is more realistic to focus on my life. Work is still going to be work no matter what I am doing – I am still going to have a lot of days that I will dread going. I still need satisfaction in my work – I need to do something I enjoy but this is just a different perspective I’m considering. Working here in the Philippines as an expat can pretty much guarantee a comfortable lifestyle – one that we couldn’t necessarily get right away in the US. In the US I can see myself getting caught up in car payments, house payments, bills, etc and barely making enough to get by, especially without a specialized degree. I know myself well enough that I could never live here on my own. I would need to either make a connection with someone I felt close to or stay here with a friend. I’ve made big independent decisions on my own before where I knew that I would be doing it by myself – Wales, Spain, and now the Peace Corps. But when I didn’t have anyone close to me, I quickly made deep friendships that have lasted. I know if I stayed here by myself I would make new friends but I really don’t think I would chose to live here without someone at the start, considering I have so many wonderful friends at home (that I miss!). Another option would be to stay here just for a year and get my prerequisites for nursing. I thought about this a few months ago when a volunteer from an earlier batch told me he was planning to do it. The schooling is cheaper and cost of living is lower. The problem is I will have no job and no savings. I’d have to look into financial aid and see if it would apply to classes here. Don’t worry everyone. I am most likely coming home. These are just some ideas that have crossed my mind the past couple of weeks.
As for my personal life….Adam and I are working on being friends. It’s been a huge load off my back for us to be okay again. It’s been hard no doubt. I made it past these two months and came out much stronger and independent and happy about it. When we talked and decided to try to be friends, I had to get past my anger and hatred toward him. I realize now that although I had some good reasons, I used these feelings to protect myself and give myself control of the situation. At this point we both understand each other’s situations, how we handled things, problems in our relationship, and 0things well change as friends. I feel much better that I have not lost his friendship. It killed me to think that I spent a year with someone all for nothing. Who would I have to share all my experiences with after it’s over? I’m okay with us just being friends. We can still be close and we can still share those memories and make more. We were close for a reason and I don’t want to lose that. At the end of it, I know that I need time alone here and that’s one of the reasons I came here. I am glad to be getting my chance.
Nonetheless, I’m back to feeling a bit lonely at site again. I was doing great before MST and now I have taken a few steps backward. I think I became used to having all my friends around and now it is gone again. But I know that the progress I made in the past two months is still there I just have to remind myself the ways I’ve grown. Someone told me that you learn a lot of things about yourself when you date someone – things cannot learn in any other way. There are also things you learn as a single person that you cannot learn when you are in a relationship. I feel lucky that I have had both opportunities. Even the breakup itself has taught me a lot about myself. I’m not saying that I am glad it happened. The past two months were rough and I am not yet to the point where I feel “happy” about the whole situation. But the past is the past and I think I dealt with it the best I could. I am still learning about myself – geez how much can one person come to realize about herself? All this change, self-refection, personal growth – you’re not going to recognize me! J
Anyways, this is a ridiculously long blog…..to sum it up…know that I am doing well. I am back to my routine. I am keeping busy. I still have my ups and downs but I think I am on an upward cycle again. I love you all.
Eva