Back in the Philippines

Hi All! Just want to say that I am back home safely in Lamut. I had an amazing time at home and it was so wonderful to see you all. Thank you so much for helping me come back and also for taking the time to see me (shelby and ellen for driving to des moines :) ) I was sad that I didnt get to see Holly have her baby and meet Cole but I just talked to her this morning and she told me that she had him on Monday morning around 11 am. She opted for a c section because he was big and it went really well. He weighed about 9 pounds 6 oz and was 22 inches long. They are still in the hospital but hope to be home tomorrow.


About me....being back has been a bit strange. When I was home in Des Moines I got right back into the swing of things. It seemed weird that it wasn't even weird. No strangeness at all and really comfortable. I felt that I was right back where I left off. My relationships hadn't changed a bit. If anything, I felt closer to my friends and family because our relationships held up despite my absence. And, there is nothing like leaving everyone you love to help you realize how much you care about and appreciate them. It was a bit hard to see many of my friends so settled. I have always been a restless person; not wanting to stay in one place to long. I get too ancy. I have always known that it would mean leaving people I love and care about. However, that doens't make it any less difficult to do. Many of my friends are now home owners, in serious relationships, and now mothers! I felt a pull to do the same thing: settle down, find a job, and be in a stable relationship. There is something comforting in knowing that you are surrounded by people you love. Also, I felt somewhat envious of my friends in serious relationships - knowing that you are with the one person that you will spend the rest of your life with sharing in all of your experiences is pretty incredible. And finally having some financial security - that must be nice!

Although I felt this pull, I know that I am not yet ready for that life. Up until the last day before I left, I had moments where I didn't want to leave. I cried at the thought of going back to the Philippines and leaving everyone and everything again. But in the end, I still missed my life here. I have unfinished business and so much more to learn. And I know that I would be restless again after a year and embark on some new adventure. Knowing this and accepting this made all my goodbyes a lot easier. I remember a year ago being terrified of leaving my old life behind. Now I know it is still there for me when I get back.

I am still feeling a little down being back. I miss home and it is so strange to think that just a week ago I was riding around in a car with my friends, eating dairy queen and burritos, and wearing tank tops and make up. The past few days I have avoided going to the school and talking with the teachers. I was not quite ready for the thought of work. Jill came to visit me last night and she gave me some motivation. She said enough planning, I just have to do it. You all know how much I like to plan and organize. I think that has been one of my problems. Doing that has helped me avoid real work, real teaching, and really challenging myself. So this morning I made the first step. I went to the school and talked to the principal about my new plans for the school year. I am going to start an English remediation club, work on developing a library, and still oversee the SPED class. I also talked with my counterpart about the change and said that I will still be around to help with the class whenever she needs me. I am also going to visit each class and talk to them about SPED. Any ideas for some games to teach children empathy for others? I need some ideas.

I made the plunge and am trying to get back into a routine. It's going to take some time but I am sure that it will happen. Especially with the help of my family - they are amazing.

Another change has happened here. Adam has officially moved out of Ifugao. I went with him to Banaue last Tuesday to help him pack his things. We cleaned out his house in about 2 hours, visited friends for a final farewell, and had dinner with his host family. It was really sad to see them. I know they had a great impact on Adam and he has built so many wonderful relationships with them. He will still be able to visit them when he wants but it won't be like before. I can't imagine what he must be going through. I am not sure I would be able to continue my service if they moved me. My host family is half the reason I stay here. He is surely going to learn a lot from this experience. In a way he is lucky that he has the opportunity to really challenge himself. We chose this program to grow and he sure is getting the best of it.

As for me....it will be hard without him here. I looked forward to getting away some weekends and being able to just hang out in cool mountain weather, go on hikes, and watch movies with another american. Then again, it will also be another challenge for me. I will not have him as a crutch or a distraction and I will most likely be spending a lot more time at site. Time for me to become serious about my work. It will be a test for sure but I hope to come out of all of this stronger and more independent.

Thats the news around here. My family loved all the gifts I brought them and say thanks. Im holding on tight to my cheerios and licorice but man am I craving those pickles. I think its fair to say that I ate about 6 or 7 jars when I was home. I was able to sneak a braeburn apple back with me and shared it with adam - he said it tasted fake because the flavor was so strong......ah one more year without the comforts of home. Its going to pass in no time I know and honestly.....I am starting to love rice!

Take care. I love you all.

Eva