Working Real Hard Here

Hello all! I know it’s been ages since I last wrote to any of you or wrote on my blog. As most of you know, I’ve been on vacation for about 2 ½ weeks. I came back to Lamut about a week ago and have been recovering and adjusting from my trip. I haven’t had much of a chance to do either yet….as soon as I got back I was bombarded with work, mostly issues regarding our library project. I am getting super anxious because we have not yet started the actual repairs on the building. Our schedule is to be finished by the end of November with the building repairs so we can start implementing a reading program. I am finding out that if I leave, things just stop. I expected things to slow down a bit. I was gone over the school’s semester break so no one was reporting for work. There were also local elections and All Saint’s Day…and whenever there is a holiday or an excuse not to work people take it and everything seems to shut down, even for the days surrounding the holidays. For example, the whole month of December can be written off since everyone starts celebrating the 25 days of Christmas and preparing for the Christmas program. So….we really need to get going this month!! I know it will get finished, I am just frustrated waiting for things to start.
Last weekend I had some relief from work. I ate lunch in Solano (about 45 minutes from me) with a volunteer that was recently transferred there. She is from batch 266. She came back to my house afterwards and Jill met us too and we had a sleep-over. I feel like such a teenager. On top to being treated like one, I have started acting the part – having all girl sleep-overs watching movies and eating chocolate……it’s like I’m 14 all over again. Next thing I know Ill start being hostile and irritable, not telling Mama Sonya where I’m going, hiding out in my room, spending endless time on my phone…..oh wait, I already do all that!
Next week we are having our annual Thanksgiving get together in Sagada. I am super excited. It was a blast last year. This year there are going to be 55 of us. We will spend the whole day cooking and have our dinner in the evening. There will be turkey, pie, and stuffing! I plan to eat myself sick.
Then it will be December! And only 6 months left to go! I have started to freak out more and more about leaving here. I am definitely feeling the pressure at work. I feel like I won’t have enough time to finish all the things I want to finish here, especially with the library. I really want to see the project through and set it up for next year so I know the teachers and students will make the best use of it. I also want to make sure I visit all the places here that I want. I’ve been to most places, but I do want to do more diving before I leave. I want to go to a place called Tubataha – it is supposed to be one of the best diving sites in SE Asia. I’d hate to miss out on seeing it. The problem is you have to take a liveaboard to get there – that means sleeping a few days on a boat. It is all the diving you can handle in a day but it’s also very expensive and I just blew a fortune on my last holiday. I am going to try and save to make it possible. I figure this Peace Corps allowance is given to us to spend so I’m gonna spend it. It’s just money anyways and I can make more when I get a real job. I’m good with my money at site so I save about half of my allowance each month. That’s still only 100 bucks or so but it goes a long way here.
Lately, I have also been thinking about leaving everyone here – not only my host family and friends but this amazing PC community we have. It’s so great to have this group of about 100 people in this country that you know you can count on and can visit if you want. We are like family here. I love our get togethers and seminars and every chance I get to spend with them. Once we go home we’re never going to have that again and I know I’m going to miss it terribly. This is like an intense long extended summer camp and wow after two years of relying on these people and getting used to this life….dang and I have 7 months still to go…imagine how I’m gonna sound right before I leave! Don’t worry I’ll be happy to come home too J

I haven’t gone into detail about my trip……..so here it goes….kinda like a part 2 of this entry….
Basically, I headed down to Manila to get some library books for the school and to visit the counselor. I wanted to have a follow up visit with her and talk to her about some things…mostly stress management and my tendency to try and fill my days with mindless tasks. I’ve always been a list maker and super organized but I really want to learn how to relax and let things go……be okay with sitting around all day doing what I want to do and not what I have written on my list. I want to be able to enjoy myself more. It seems before my vacation I spent a lot of time doing a lot of things that really weren’t that important or exciting and that I didn’t care about. I felt distracted any time I tried to relax or read and a lot of times I would do things like read or watch movies – things I find enjoyable – but I would only do them to have something to do and wouldn’t really involve myself or be focus on what I was doing. I felt like a zombie moving around here. Does all that make sense? So I got some advice from the counselor – actually a lot from myself as counseling sessions are mostly for working things out for your self you just do it out loud and with an audience. My goal now is to do what I want and really enjoy myself. I want to let the small things go – give myself time for work and then time to relax and really use that time for relaxing and not mindless tasks. It really was good timing to set these goals as I was going on vacation by myself for 2 ½ weeks.
I must say that this vacation has been the best thing I have done my entire time here. It was the best therapy I could have offered myself. I feel rejuvenated and I feel a sense of calm – for lack of a better word. I feel more confident and independent and comfortable in my own shoes. I went on this vacation with only a small idea of where and when I was going. I was alone so I was able to do whatever I wanted – I felt so free and independent! I discovered I have no problems making friends and don’t mind traveling or being alone.
I first met some friends in a town called Iloilo and we took a ferry together to Bacolod, Negros for their annual Maskara festival – known for their dancing and parades, but mostly for their elaborately decorated face masks. We spent about 3 days in this town together eating all kinds of food on a stick, watching bands, drinking beer, and enjoying all the festivities – it was like the Iowa State Fair! Afterwards, I got on a bus and headed to Siquijor. I traveled with a new volunteer that lives on the island. He gave me the contact info for the other 3 volunteers there. I hadn’t met any of them before but I ended up spending two nights with one of them at their host family’s house. They put me in contact with a dive shop and master and I dove for 3 days. The dive master was so great that he let me stay with his family at his house! They welcomed me just like they would a family member. I ate with them, sat outside and chatted with them, and they gave me rides into town. That’s Filipino hospitality at its best.
The island of Siquijor is beautiful. It is very rural so it is calm and peaceful at night. There is no light pollution. Most people travel around on motorcycles. There are beautiful beaches and mountains. I kept thinking how amazing it would be to retire early in a place like that and open up a resort. What a life! I dove at an amazing place called Apo Island. It was spectacular…as one friend called it…an underwater safari! I really can’t explain it – it was right out of a National Geographic special. There were beautiful fish every where I turned.
After a few days in paradise I headed back to Iloilo via Bacolod and eventually made it to Antique on Panay island to the site of some fellow volunteers – a married couple, Scott and Erin. Scott works at a SPED center. I had originally planned this trip so that I could go to his school and visit the teachers and share some ideas, observe their classes, etc. It turns out elections made that impossible. I was however able to meet with two of them and gave them some materials I prepared as well as show them some things I made/use in Lamut. They were really energetic and seem to be very motivated in their jobs….how I wish……
I was exhausted from traveling and diving plus I had gotten sick during my dive trip so it was nice spending a few days with friends just relaxing and not going any where. We spent about 3 days reading, playing games, watching movies, and eating great American food!!! Thank you Erin!
After that I headed back to Iloilo to meet some friends and go out in the town for a couple of days. It was really funny though because we showed up the day before the election and there was a liquor ban! Everyone had this big night out planned and at 9 the restaurants stopped serving. It was really funny. We ended up getting on a tricycle and traveling around looking for a sari sari shop (small local stores/stands usually connected to people’s homes) that would go ahead and sell it to us any way. We were successful and took our party to a friend’s house and played card games all night. It was a blast. This whole time Id been hanging out with friends from the Midwest (Wisconsin, Michigan, and Illinois) and it felt like I was with friends from home. We even had a couple of games of flippy cup. I really love all the guys down in this area – I sure wish I was closer! (I’m going again for New Year’s J )
My trip was just half way over when I flew to Cebu City and met Vera, a German volunteer I met through Jill. She showed me around the city, we cooked dinner, and she took me for the most amazing massage ever! I am not one to spend money on services – it seems like a waste – but this was worth ever peso – and it was cheap!!! The next day we met up with 4 other volunteers and traveled to an island called Malapascua to dive. This place really is paradise! White sand beaches, nipa huts right on the sand, it was gorgeous! The first day we spent just laying around on the beach before we finally set up some dives. This area is known for sharks and manta rays. It’s different kind of diving because you go out in search of certain things. The other reef diving I’ve done is different because you are around a lot of coral and every where you look there is something beautiful and so many different kinds of tropical fish. The underwater scenery here wasn’t all that pretty but what you’re looking for is the exciting part. We set out at 430 the first morning to look for sharks. We went down and just sat there waiting for about 40 minutes. I was one of the lucky few to see one – the others didn’t – it went by so fast and disappeared. But on the way up others saw a manta ray and I missed that! Later I went with Vera on a dive to look for those and we were both unsuccessful. Really it’s hit or miss. I think I prefer the reef diving – it’s guaranteed.
I had a great time during this part of the trip. Vera and I hit it off so well. We talked constantly and have so much in common. She reminds me so much of my close friends at home and good friends I’ve made abroad. Sometimes you meet people and you just really mesh well – I feel like we are old friends. It’s only been a week and I miss her already! We also had an addition to our group – a traveler from London. He was on the bus and a friend of mine befriended him and he joined us for our whole trip. We really enjoyed ourselves together – the whole group – diving, relaxing on the beach, eating great Italian food, happy hour specials, long talks, night swims….it was so hard to leave! It definitely did not feel like we were in Peace Corps.
I flew back on a Sunday into Manila on a plane delayed 7 hours! Nice way to end vacation – sitting 7 hours alone and hungover in an airport. At least they fed us free Jollibee! When I got into Manila I had to rush to the bus station and get on an 8 hour night bus home. Fun.
Like I said, this was no doubt the best thing I’ve done here. Now back in Lamut I feel more relaxed and calm and happy in my situation. This trip was a way for me to test my independence and my comfort being alone, making new friends…and I am confident that I can do things like this. It’s been the best medicine for post break up too. I am no longer stressed at all about that situation. I feel better now that I am single and alone. I think everyone needs to have time alone and single to figure themselves out and do things to build their confidence and trust in themselves.
It’s been hard to adjust to not having any other westerners around but it’s been okay. My host family has always been so amazing. I don’t know what I’d do here without them. They are always excited to see me when I come home and this time they gave me another very warm welcome. I was happy to have my own bed again and to have Mama Z’s cooking. Eating with other volunteers at their host family’s houses I realized how great she really is. I wish you all could meet her. It’s going to be so hard to leave at the end of all this…bittersweet.

This is getting a bit long sorry….

I love you all. Happy Thanksgiving. Next year I’ll be able to join you all! Wow!