panic

i just panicked for a second because when i looked at my blog i didnt see my last post. it was extremely long so for a moment i thought it was gone - never posted!!! relief it is still here. not sure why it isn't showing up.

anyways...its only been a week since my last entry? not a lot has happened here. really. i went to a girl scout camp one saturday - invited by a fellow teacher. it was really nice to be included in something outside of school. i dont really have the chance to talk with the other teachers so i felt really good when madam annie asked me to come with them. the camp was held about 30 minutes away in a far barangay. the view out there is gorgeous. i am going to try and walk that way some time. i wish i had my camera with me. next time. i watched girls present numbers, dance, and do parlor games. i was treated so well by everyone there - front row seat up on stage away from the sun, free merienda (snack) and lunch. the kids were all fascinated with me and i had quite the following all day. i think the best thing about this trip was that i was able to establish a presence among my fellow teachers. I was also able to see how teachers interact with each other - they are a lot of fun, not unlike the teachers at home. id been going by the impression i was getting from my counterpart and she is not representative of the majority here. im now motivated to attend as many outside events as possible and really branch out.

last week? work all week....working on ieps for the kids, organizing the classroom, etc. i went again to my new language tutor at sil and i really like her. she is going to start back with the basics. i have to be patient with this, it can be frustrating to be retaught what i already know but i think it will correct some of the mistakes ive been making and ultimately strengthen my foundation.

i tried some more cooking......this time spaghetti again. it was delicious. much improved from last time...and the funny thing about it is that no one liked it! they liked it better last time. it was too spicy for them. they like their spaghetti with sugar cream and hot dogs. daddy, bembol, and mama all put sugar on top of theirs! ewwww! so we had lots of left overs and i ate spaghetti for three days! the following day i redeemed myself with rice pudding.....cool cos they always have a lot of leftover rice they give to the dogs. this recipe calls for cooked rice so mama was happy to find a way to use the old rice. and it tasted great. hot and cold for breakfast. next up? maybe chili...i tried some chick pea curry and a thai chicken recipe - both successes.

more on the domestic front? our house is in the middle of construction. daddy beda decided to turn one room into two so all last week his friends were in the house renovating. the noise was unbearable but we did have excellent food all week - food to feed hungry workers - lots of lentils and beans cooked out back over the fire with meat. ever eat pigs feet? well i have and i love it! i dont eat the fatty parts but the meat inside is so tender. you should try it....dont be turned off by the look really.

getting along really well with my family. mama zonia went to town the other day and came back with some pants for me to wear to work. she got them at the wag wagan (thrift store). she is pretty good cos they fit perfectly. i felt like a mom in them but everyone assured me i looked like a young lady. she also has been chatting to me alot about any topic, like she is really interested in getting to know me better. its really sweet. we sat one day outside of the shop with her daughter mae just the three of us eating merienda and having the nicest girly chit chat.

ive been trying to help her out around the house. she is really busy. but its hard to. i like to feel needed at home and like i am contributing something. i try to wash the dishes...sometimes it works sometimes not. last weekend i offerred to clean the bathroom. she let me and showed me the cleaner but then the next day i discovered she cleaned parts of it again. been thinking maybe she feels that i am stepping on her toes.

last weekend i spent 2 rainy days hanging out with mae and bonding. we watched movies, cooked, taught her some cards games, talked. i feel really close to her now. we talked about her career after graduation. she is a nursing student. she wants to work abroad hopefully in the US. how great would that be if one of them were to move to the US? i could see them again without traveling thousands of miles.

found out daddy beda has a collection of old national geographics. his brother had a collection and bought him a subscription. he is really an intellectual guy. we had some nice talks about pompeii and natural science and other various topics. im happy now cos i found a new supply of reading material - intellectually stimulating at that!

work front - wow what a week!! really, more like what a bad day i had on friday. we had a sports day on friday so no class but we reported to help out. i was excited for it cos it was a chance to hang out with the teachers and students. the morning went ok...liza told me that i would help her out with volleyball. well all morning she pretty much did her own thing and didnt talk to me. i talked with some teachers but mostly spent my time with a bold 6 year old girl, len len. before i went home i went i saw that they were cooking lunch. i asked liza what was going on and she said that i could go ahead and go home early and we would start back up at 130. i asked about the lunch and she said it was only for people who contributed money for it - including her so i can just go home. she would see me later. so i went back to my room where the lunch was
being prepared adn talked with the secretary who was cooking. she said it was for them but i was included of course and i should stay. i said liza said it was only for some people so thats fine, ill just go home. so i went home upset that liza didnt invite me or even tell me ahead of time so i could contribute to it. later a teacher stopped by the store and mama zonia told her about what happened. turns out that the lunch was for the principal who was retiring and of course i was invitited - they just assume liza invites me. i went back to the school for the rest of the program - reluctantly i might add. i sat with some other teachers instead. actually the rest of the pm went really well. i was upset about the lunch but really got a chance to talk to some teachers i hadn't before. i explained my role to them and that i would like to start up some other projects at the school. looks like they would be interested in some teacher trainings and a new library - exactly what i wanted to work on next. liza avoided me all afternoon and i sat with other teachers. at the end of the day i talked with mama about it and she offerred me some good advice. i really think this time i have accepted that she is a difficult person adn there is nothing i can do to change that. it is not me personally, it is her. so i am going to keep this relationship professional. i will go into work, get what we need accomplished, and go home. in my extra time i will try to network with the other teachers. i want to put up a suggestion box in the office and make a survey for them so i can see what specific needs they have and what i can help them with. i think that liza has been trying to isolate me from the group. she is new at the school and is also trying to find her niche so maybe she is threatened by me. everyone is very friendly and warm to me so now i dont see any reason why i cant be successful with my new plan. i received some apologies from the secretary and she asked for my forgiveness of the matter! they were embarrassed by her behavior. but all is well here now...i said never mind...its a personal issue and i dont generalize it to everyone.

anyways so thats all that. this weekend i am going back to banaue with jill. nanang florentina and the barangay captains family are coming from saytan to visit some distant relatives. they are going to pick me up to on the way so i have a free ride! the following week is thanksgiving. and dont worry, i will have my turkey...not sure about pumpkin pie but i have been told there will be turkey - all the peace corps volunteers get togehter and cook a big meal in sagada. should be a great time.

i love you all and miss you so much!!! keep the emails coming